wheresmycow: (sherlock01)
Oh lord, oh lord. It's OOC as all get out, but hilariously so. I may have startled the cat awake with the high-pitched gigglesnorts.

Sherlock Holmes' Diary, a Sherlock/Bridget Jones' Diary fusion by [livejournal.com profile] errantcomment

January 29th. Nicotine patches 5 Cigarettes 7 (Well) Flatmates 1? (Don’t want to discuss it)

1240 Text from Mike: "May have found you flatmate. Old friend from uni. Missed lunch for this so don't mess it up!" God knows who it is. Some dull middle-management type I imagine. Text back: "Fine. Will be as charming as you like."

1400 Oh my. Sitting in Molly’s office with soothing cup of tea. John Watson. Oh my.
I didn’t mess it up.
I think. I mean. Oh no.
He’ll come I think. Why wouldn’t he?
I mean, oh lord. Here’s the thing.

1430 Mike came in. "What the hell was that?"
"I don't know what you mean." Liar.
"If that's you trying to be charming I'd hate to see what you'd be like driving someone off!' He folded his arms.
"I just- look, it's fine. He'll come. He might even stay." Mike gave me a long look.
"Well, he'd better. The missus's eyes still glow red at the mention of your name." Not a joke.
Got John Watson's number (oh my) off Mike. Wonder if it would be stalker-ish to text him right now. Probably.
wheresmycow: (Default)
by trawling through [livejournal.com profile] sherlockbbc_fic and lo, I found this anonymous gem of hilarity:

Narrative Causality (A Sherlock/Discworld fic; in which Stamford plays an unappreciated part and Mycroft presumes the laws of gravity are laws for everybody else.)
wheresmycow: (Default)
One of my favorite Flight of the Conchords bits. We've all had this sort of conversation before, hadn't we? Well, maybe not exactly this sort...

wheresmycow: (Default)
I can't stop watching The Thick of It and In the Loop. All that profane yelling in thick Glaswegian accents, it's mesmerizing. And oddly hot.

And that's just Malcolm Tucker. Here's his assistant/second-in-command/feral rabid dog Jamie:

"You take the piss out of Jolson again and I will remove your iPod from its tiny nano-sheath and push it up your cock. Then I'll put some speakers up your arse and put it on to shuffle with my fucking fist. And every time I hear something that I don't like--which will be every time that something comes on--I will skip to the next track by crushing your balls."

That's a masterclass, right there.
wheresmycow: (Default)
I just realized what it is about Glee's Lea Michele that makes me want to punt her face-first into a door: it's not just the (ugh)Broadway acting and singing style, it's her DISNEY SMILE. It's a wall of teeth. Only Keira Knightley has a creepier smile than hers.

(hotlinked because I don't want copies of their pictures on my hard drive or on my Photobucket/Flickr account. Also, I actually wanted to use a picture of Keira Knightley from Pride and Prejudice because I swear there was one shot there where she's leering up at Matthew MacFadyen with her creepy grin. Alas, I couldn't find it.)

Would you WANT to survive a plane crash in the Andes with someone who looks like they could sneak up on you and rip your abdomen apart, smiling the whole time?
wheresmycow: (Default)
Seriously, I've been sick for almost a week; I'm stuck in bed with my laptop all day and I've run out of TV episodes to watch (except for Project Runway -- come on, little internet ninja pirate hamsters, where are you?). What else could I do?

Aptronyms by [livejournal.com profile] elapsedspiral. Mr Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson are characters created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle; Mr Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson are the unfortunate sods named after them (AKA a rather strange AU of 2010 Sherlock).

One of the most vivid memories he had from his childhood was of opening a copy of "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Even now he remembered pouring over stories of thieves and crooks, villainy and deceit. He also recalled a lot of service revolver use and trap doors. At the heart of every story there was the sleuth himself, Sherlock Holmes, and his loyal companion John Watson. Sherlock, he remembered reading, was a tall dark-haired man with an eagle-eyed gaze and a hawk-like nose. He had a habit of being bitingly sarcastic and generally very witty. Watson, by contrast, was a long-suffering but brave and dependable man who balanced his detective friend's less appealing traits well. And together, he recalled, the pair had solved impossible crimes and gone on amazing adventures.

He had hated every single page of those books and the reason was readily understandable. It was, after all, somewhat unnerving at the age of seven to read that he was, apparently, a master of disguise, of the martial arts and of identifying soil types. It was very alarming to read how he fell down a waterfall in Switzerland and that he had an arch-enemy. People surely didn't
have arch-enemies.

And so at age seven, Sherlock Holmes came fully to appreciate how big a pair of prats his parents were for naming him after a fictional detective.

And the ENDING! Oh god, the ending...I laughed so hard I started coughing for about five minutes afterward. IT'S A HEALTH HAZARD.
wheresmycow: (Default)
1. Padding by [livejournal.com profile] basingstoke. (Sherlock/Black Books) A shocking attack of bibliophilia.

"I WOULD LIKE TO PAY YOU ONE THOUSAND POUNDS," Sherlock said loudly and clearly.

Bernard silenced. He sat in the desk chair. "Manny."

"Yes, Bernard?" said the blond man.

"I grant you permission to sell this man a book."

"I think he wants more than one, Bernard!"

"ONE BOOK!" Bernard screamed.

2. Space Oddity by [livejournal.com profile] emmyangua. (Sherlock/Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes) Sherlock Holmes was hit by an explosion in 2010 and when he woke up it was 1983. Gene Hunt isn't ready for a new DI yet, and doesn't know what he's in for.

"I don't know where you think you're going," snapped Gene. "But there's an empty desk out there—" a couple of empty desks, he thought bitterly, "and the scum of London isn't going to catch itself."

"But you're the police. It's your job to look into disappearances."

Our job, Detective Inspector," said Gene coldly.

The man stopped. He spent a moment delicately fishing about in his pockets and retrieved a warrant card. "Detective Inspector Sherlock Holmes," he read. "Metropolitan Police."

He closed the warrant card, replaced it in his jacket, and then—to Gene's surprise—laughed long and hard.
wheresmycow: (Default)
Won't get fooled again, eh?

So it's President Wet Noodle and Vice President "The Self-Proclaimed Pinoy Obama", eh?

And speaking of Binay, a word to the wary from [livejournal.com profile] erdilien23's Facebook page:
Ayaw n'yo kay Korina as 2nd Lady ng 'Pinas? Mas matakot kayo kay Elenita, lol.
(Trans: Don't want Korina [Sanchez-Roxas] as the Second Lady of the Philippines? Be afraid of Elenita [Binay], lol.)

Dun dun dun!

/I guess I can be thankful for one thing -- if Cory hadn't died and Noynoy hadn't run, we'd be looking in horror at Joseph Estrada, President. How fucking embarrassing.
//Fuck it. We deserve the people we vote in. Filipinos are stupid.
wheresmycow: (Default)
Dammit, I'm reading Deadpool 'fic and I. Can't. Stop. They're all fucking insane.

Archive of our Own is an Evil Timewaster Of Evil. AHLAVEIT

And here is the 'fic that got me started down this dark, evil path.

/shit, gotta get icons
wheresmycow: (Default)
  • GET OUT OF MY HEAD JEREMY BRETT! I can't read Sherlock Holmes/John Watson slash without giggling like a prize idiot. Not because they're bad -- some are quite good -- but I developed a concrete picture of Holmes and Watson from reading all the stories and this picture keeps intruding into my carefully-constructed-yet-dangerously-fragile head-bubble that is the 2009 movie!verse. I can only (provisionally) accept Holmes/Watson when they're RDJ and Jude Law.

  • I'd like to say that I have no horse in this race, but I used to watch both Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno pretty regularly when both their shows were being aired here on cable, and I realize that I'm for Team CoCo. He's much funnier, and it's obvious who's being really screwed over here. Gawker has all the sordid details of this riveting bitchfight between rich white men.

    (for some odd reason I also have vivid memories of Leno vs Letterman 1992.)

    (also, jeez, why the fuck am I caring? Craig Ferguson FTW)

  • Oh, of course! IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU, ISN'T IT?* Speaking of bitchfight, Kris Aquino's gone loco again. Her brother, presidential candidate (and all-around wet noodle) Senator Noynoy Aquino, has asked that people give her and husband James some privacy. Hard to do that, Noynoy, when your baby sister appears on Private Conversations with Boy Abunda to appeal to James to get his act together and help save their marriage. All this, by the way, while tearfully airing all the dirty laundry at the same time. The woman just lives in a self-absorbed bubble, doesn't she? I would say that her mother is probably spinning in her grave, but Cory had to deal with 25+ years of this shit. The poor lady deserves her rest.

    *Galaxy Quest, ILU.

  • Tick-tock, tick-tock. Still need a concrete idea for my final term paper in grad class. I've got a one-on-one powwow scheduled with the prof on Thursday in Makati, can't show up half-assed. Thing is, I still don't have much of a grasp on what the class is really about.

  • Er, Um. So there's this guy. I think his friends are obliquely setting us up. Or having a joke at my expense. Possibly both.
wheresmycow: (Default)
THIS was driving me nuts in the office a couple of days ago, thank you [livejournal.com profile] zed_pm. It actually IS smarter (or its search algorithm is simply more thorough) than it has any right to be, dammit.

I thought I'd try to stump it with Miles Vorkosigan, and at first I thought I did when it guessed Lord Havelock Vetinari -- and then I just had to click on "Go On? YES".

It also, annoyingly, got Darna right.

I did finally defeat it with Zsazsa Zaturnnah! I may have confused it all to hell with all the gender questions -- but I doubt that's going to work a second time.

Try to stump it, why don't you?
wheresmycow: (Default)
YM transcript between [livejournal.com profile] quinnzap and [livejournal.com profile] wheresmycow, 30 Dec 2009, 12:05 AM
Re: Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part 1

HIM: timothy dalton is a time lord
HIM: maybe that's where old bonds go when they stop being james
HIM: they become immortalized time lords
ME: If so...then Sean Connery's Ramirez (Highlander) is in fact a renegade Time Lord?
HIM: yeah, that'd explain a lot of ramirez's behavior, if you think about it
HIM: bizarro dude that he is
ME: James Bond: Where Fandoms Collide?
HIM: and didn't the disowned highlander 2 movie refer to a misbegotten planet that they all hailed from?
ME: So...there can be Only One (Time Lord)? IT ALL MAKES SENSE
HIM: oo no
HIM: kaya dapat decapitation
HIM: to prevent regeneration

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